Day's Diary

July 3, 2007 ~ Thomas

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There is a curious practice here of showing respect and at the same time claiming relationship with one who has become or whom you want to become a part of your life situation. That practice is to address that person as “mother” or “father.” Age is not a factor. Sometimes this is imposed on the one “being adopted” and sometimes it is a mutual attachment. I have a number of vendors and others who have attached themselves to me, like Amos and Stephen, who call me “mum,” and then I have some for whom this is a mutual attachment, like Charles, Alinafe, Bessie and Thomas.

Thomas is one of my Malawian sons. He is responsible yet fun-loving and deeply committed to Christ. He knows the scriptures and he does his best to live them. At the same time, he has a delightful sense of humor and is able to laugh at situations and at himself. Thomas’ father died in October of 2006 and since he is the only son of four children, he is the one who is now responsible for his mother and his sisters, as well as his wife and son. This is Malawian family. His father provided well for the family while he was alive, but in a typical Malawian way, did not leave anything for their future. So it is Thomas’ responsibility to care for these women, or at least three of them – his mother and his two younger sisters. The oldest one is married and so her husband is responsible for her. His mother has not worked since she was married in 1972 and so trying to figure out how to provide for herself at age 55 is a challenge. She is depending on Thomas to make decisions for her and to give her direction. His sisters are both in school and, while their school fees are paid, their living expenses need to be met and so they come to Thomas. He was in marketing before he came to the Theological College, so he has some resources and many contacts. When his mother decided that she wanted to move back to her home village to be near her sisters, he helped her make the arrangements and make the move. Once there, she discovered that the house that they had left needed a great deal of work, so again, Thomas has been making arrangements for the house repairs. This is the role of a son in Malawi.

On Sunday, when we went to the Mpingwe church, his home congregation, we also took bags of rice for the family. One bag was for his sister who is in school in Blantyre and we dropped it at her place on the way back from church. The other two were for his wife and son. He laughed and said that is the distribution of his life, one for the extended family and two for his wife and son. While we were driving, he got a phone call from a cousin in Lilongwe. He is helping Thomas make arrangements for his youngest sister who is in school there. She has a physical disability, so there are certain considerations that need to taken into account when making arrangements for her and Thomas is sensitive to that. The conversation took place in Chichewa and when it ended he just smiled and said, “Shoes. They are always an issue.” He maintains sensitivity as he deals with issues.

The other side of him is fun-loving. One of his greatest delights is his son. His name even indicates that. His name is Chimwemwe. It means joy and there is what it is when Thomas is with him, for both of them. Even on Sunday, when Chimwemwe was suffering from malaria, his face lit up when he saw his father and Thomas was the only one who could comfort him at one point during the day. His child-like joy is conveyed to lots of children. His friend Moses’ daughter was fascinated with Thomas and went to him as eagerly as to her own parents. This affability translates to most of his encounters. He has more stories of striking up conversations with strangers on minibuses and sharing the gospel with them. He is comfortable with almost anyone. Where his joy really shines is in music. He loves to sing and praise God. With the praise team that we had for Day of Spiritual Reflection, with the music in chapel or in worship, as on Sunday, he radiates delight in singing God’s praises. After the offering on Sunday, he led the congregation in a praise chorus; it was a spontaneous response to God’s blessings, and the congregation responded with joy.

This delight to praise God is reflective of the depth of his faith. He will make a wonderful pastor because he has a pastor’s heart. A few weeks ago, I had a particularly difficult day and was struggling with some things. Thomas stopped by, just to say hello, and quickly picked up on my spirit. He asked, in a most pastoral way, if I needed someone to talk to. When I thanked him, but said I just needed to work through some things for myself, he replied that the least he could do was pray for me, if I would allow him to. I said yes, and he prayed the needs of my heart without knowing any of the details of the situations of my day. I was touched by his spiritual sensitivity and his openness to the leading of the Spirit.  
One of the things that strikes me the most about Thomas is that he is one of the few people here who has never asked me for anything, except to preach at his sending church, but nothing financial, in the midst of all that he is doing for his family. He has accompanied me to other churches, but only when asked by his friends. He stops at the house regularly, just to say hello. There has never been a personal agenda. He has phoned me when he knew I was traveling to or from Blantyre, to be certain that I arrived safely. He has stopped at the house when I was preparing to entertain visitors to see if there was anything that he could do to help. That touches me deeply. I realize that is just who he is. The caring that he gives to his mother, to be certain that her needs are met now that she is alone, is a bit of the caring he gives to me and I feel like his adopted mother.