Day's Diary

Febraury 12, 2007 ~ Malawian Hospitality

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Malawian hospitality is so much more than being gracious. It involves putting oneself out for another to make the other comfortable. It involves giving sacrificially and doing so silently. It finds expression in a variety of ways. I have been the recipient of it in many ways in the time I have been here, but none more evidently than Sunday at St. Andrews Church in Mulanje.

I spent the night in Blantyre to make the trip a bit shorter on Sunday morning. The rain began about 3 a.m. and by 5:30, when we were to leave for the drive from Blantyre to Mulanje for the worship service, it had settled into a steady downpour. The “we” of this trip were Fletcher Nyirenda, vice chair of the partnership committee, Gloria Kadzamira, secretary of the partnership committee, her husband Bill and me. After we started, Fletcher said that in his communication with the church elders, there was some confusion about the time of the service. One had told him 7 a.m., and that was the reason for our departure time, but Saturday another one had said 8 a.m. The driving was slowed by the rain, but we made good enough time and were there by 6:45. The sign leading to the church indicated that the first service was at 8 a.m. So did the vacant church yard. We were very early. We pulled into the yard and stopped by the manse (pronounced man’-say by Malawians). We sat in the car for a few minutes, to let the rain subside before we got out and tried to determine what to do for an hour. In the rain, came a young girl from the manse to say that mayi abusa (pastor’s wife) was still bathing, but we were to come in and she would join us soon. We followed the instructions and proceeded to the sitting room (our living room) and were seated. Within 5 minutes the pastor’s wife appeared, apologizing for keeping us waiting. She explained that her husband was in Cape Town, South Africa at present, studying, but she was pleased to welcome us. As she was speaking, an elder of the church approached the house and joined us in the sitting room. (He had been summoned by the mayi abusa when we first drove in). He took over the responsibilities of the pastor to get the service information and coordinate the preparations for the service. Mayi abusa excused herself and began to prepare tea for us.

(Mayi abusa is the woman in the front row on the right.)

She had not been expecting us, let alone having us arrive so early, but she never let on that there was anything out of the ordinary in our presence in her sitting room at 6:50 a.m. She provided tea and bread and butter for us. Now before any meal in Malawi, comes the hand washing. The hostess comes with a basin, a pitcher of water and a towel over her arm. She kneels in front of the first person, usually the person of honor, waits for him to extend his hands over the basin and then she pours water over his hands as he rubs them together before she hands him the towel for drying. When he is finished, she moves to the next person, making her way around the room, on her knees, to each person. Then all may eat. Mayi abusa served each of us this way. Then she excused herself and went back to the kitchen, to allow us to continue preparations for the worship service.

As we sat, more and more elders joined us, until there were 10 of us in the sitting room, waiting for the service time. The rain continued in torrents. When it was time for us to make our way across the yard to the church, mayi abusa scurried for umbrellas for all who needed them. Not everyone had brought one. She had enough for everyone but herself. She ran in the rain while we went protected under her umbrellas.

During the service, there was an announcement that the Partnership committee from St. Andrews would meet with their guests at the manse. She gave no indication that this was a surprise or an inconvenience. So after the service, we trekked back to the manse. This time mayi abusa was accompanied by two ladies from the congregation. Together they went to the kitchen as we held our meeting in her sitting room. About 10 minutes into the meeting, one of the ladies appeared with a tray of glasses and the other with a tray of cold soft drinks for everyone and they quietly served us our choice of beverage as we continued the meeting. As we were concluding the meeting, mayi abusa appeared in the doorway again, followed by the two ladies, all carrying pots of food. They had prepared “lunch” for us. It was a full course meal, with nsima, rice, a beef dish, a chicken dish, greens and a broth for the rice. Again, she came on her knees with the basin, pitcher and towel and she served us. As we ate, she refilled pots and cared for our needs. She never sat to eat with us, just served us. When we finished, she came again with the basin, pitcher and towel for those who had used their hands to eat, a very acceptable practice for Malawian meals. (I am always thankful when the hostess provides forks for those of us who are finger-challenged, and fork dependent. Our hostess provided well for me.) Again, on her knees, she served us. I was reminded of Jesus in the upper room, when he washed the disciples’ feet and thought of the spirit of servant-hood that hospitality in Malawi demonstrates. Mayi abusa offered that hospitality fully and graciously. She did agree to have her picture taken with the group as the meeting concluded. I am grateful for that reminder of her and her servant’s heart.

On the trip home, the others were not overly impressed with her actions. They said, that is just the Malawian way. That speaks volumes for the heart of the people, I think. I praise God for their gracious hospitality. I hope I can be as gracious when opportunities present themselves.